AN APOLOGY TO THIS OUTFIT

…Because clothes have feelings too. 

Dear Outfit,

How are you doing? I know you might be feeling a little uncomfortable at the seams because of the two dinners (and lifetime of Oreos) I put you through, but try to bear with me, OK? The last thing we want is for you to come apart and reveal even more than I’m already exposing.

You’re probably confused about why I’m writing you this apology. Just this evening I appointed you the two special pieces that would get to spend some quality time on my body. You made me feel cool, man! Cool with a capital AWESOME!

I mean, look at the complexity of this shirt! Is it a tube top with wings? Am I wearing Batman’s mask? I’ll never know but I don’t care!

And these layered pants! It has the Indian fusion look I love – a sort of dhoti meets harem, if you will. Who needs practicality and functionality when you’ve got fah-shawn!

But, just as quickly as I embraced you, my conservative culture shunned you with the same ol’ rhetoric that has been spouted for ages:

  • Girls shouldn’t show too much skin.
  • Don’t wear tight clothing.
  • Dress modestly and respect where you come from.
  • Women today have no morals, especially in their clothes.
  • Turmeric cures everything.

OK, I don’t know how that last one relates, but c’mon, you know you hear it all the time.

Anyway, something I was feeling pretty awesome in, with a capital COOL, suddenly became worse than the time I realized I had more of a moustache at age 10 compared to all the boys in my grade (#1 of the top 10 moments that scarred me for life).

I mean, take another look at how provocative this shirt is! Those two strings could hardly hold up two berries, let alone two melons! Don’t even get me started on that bare bit around the midriff! We all know where it’s pointing – why else would it spell out a “V” shape?

Now you can never unsee it

Now you can never unsee it

And the pants! It’s funky, but why draw unnecessary attention to yourself with such a bizarre silhouette?

Outfit, I know it’s not your fault and that’s why I owe you an apology. You were born this way. It’s just a little skin up top and some experimentation down below – that’s not the worst thing in the world is it?

Sure, you’re challenging some notions about what a “good girl” should wear. People might look at you funny and mourn the days when women channelled Downton Abbey instead of Downright Trampy.

But, hey, this Rebel still feels comfortable with you on her skin. Others may judge and say all the problems start with the clothes. However, it is more important to me that I have the freedom to choose you instead of someone telling me what’s right or wrong from their point of view. (Wow, that got deep fast…)

I’ll try to make you proud by wearing you with confidence. Well, except when I have my third dinner of the night (aka drunken munchies), and all bets about your seams are off.


Isn’t being judged by “society” worse than being a 10-year-old girl with a moustache? I would love to hear about your own rebellious experiences! Share your stories in the comments section down below – or don’t! Whatever makes you happy!

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